God is doing some work on me right now.  It’s good.  It’s a little scary and painful, but good.   I’ve been asking Him for a few  years to help me dig up those things in my heart that do not please Him.  Well, He took me seriously and He is doing it. 

Right now at church we are in a series, called Counterfeit Love.  It’s based on the book “Counterfeit Gods” by Tim Keller.  Our small group is reading the book along with the sermon series and then discussing it every two weeks.  It’s been extremely eye-opening to me.  Not only am I going through this book and the sermon series, but I’m also going through Jennie Allen’s “Stuck” Bible Study with a group of my friends.  All of these things combined are proving to be God’s tools in continuing to shape of my character. 

I think God was tired of seeing me struggle and complain, when He knew the root of the problem all along.  I havent’ been trusting  Him enough, believing Him enough, pursuing Him enough and worst of all, I have been putting other “idols” above Him.   Yuck. 

And the thing is, my heart has been pretty sneaky.  All the things I worry about and focus on are not bad, so they disguised themselves as maybe things I should worry about and should focus on.  It’s all been a lie. 

Now a moment of transparency.  I worry about the silliest things.  I worry that my to-do list hasn’t been done and that bugs me.  I want all of my “to-do’s” done for the day and when they are not, I get uncomfortable, uneasy, frustrated and sometimes a little depressed.  I’m serious.  I have valued myself, to this point, by how much I can get done and accomplish in a day.  If I feel I’ve tackled most of my to-do’s, and the house is clean, and everyone has clean underwear and dinner is ready and tasty, then maybe, just maybe I will feel good for the day. 

Again, not bad things, but the wrong things.  I can search and search, but I do not think I’ll ever find a verse in the Bible that says “Follow Jesus, but first make sure all your to-do’s are finished, the floor is swept, and all the laundry is done and dinner is cooked”.  So why have I been living that way?  I want to control my day and when it doesn’t go how I think it should go, I get upset, and sometimes I take it out on those I love the most.  That’s messed up. 

So the journey continues and God and I are working on getting this idol of control out of my heart.  I am praying like crazy, reading His word and asking Him every morning to help take this junk out of my heart and to replace it with Him.  I am looking at my to-do’s and understanding what is motivating them, and why I want to accomplish them.  I’m trying to let God lead. 

This is not going to be easy, we are talking about years of a bad habits ingrained in my being.  Thankfully, God is strong enough to help me overcome this.  I just have to let Him.

I don’t feel obligated, I don’t do it because I fear the wrath, I don’t do it because it’s a list I need to check off, I don’t do it to feel good about myself and I don’t do it so people or God will think I’m “good”.  I do it because I’m so grateful to God for accepting me into his family.  Even after all the things I’ve done in my life to try and screw things up, He was always there waiting to accept me.  He loves me so much and that is why I obey.

I still screw up daily, but on a much smaller scale than before I began a relationship with God and started following Jesus.    Before I became a Christian, I remember thinking that I wasn’t sure I could follow all the Christian “rules” and that it seemed boring.  Ha!  God was probably laughing, because what He has shown me since is how boring and empty my life was before Him.  I was so focused on myself, and what society thinks, that I never felt happy or joyful inside.  I searched and searched for something or someone to make me happy.

There is only one way to find true joy, and that is through Jesus Christ.  He is the only way.  I have learned that from my own experience, not because someone told me, or because I read it in the Bible.   I’ve experienced the love, acceptance, forgiveness and Grace of God through Jesus and I’ll be eternally grateful.

It’s through that complete gratefulness that I CHOOSE to obey God.  In doing so, He reveals Himself to me in ways I never would’ve imagined.

The Christian way of living, following Christ is ANYTHING but boring.

I had to share this song.  I absolutely love it!  See what you think.  It has a great message and I can feel God speaking to me with the lyrics.  I desperately want God to always “hold onto me” and “never let me go”!

What does that look like?  Loving others radically.  It sounds a little overwhelming and intimidating if I’m honest.   But I want to live that way.   Last week our Bible Study challenged my small group college girls to go out and love others radically.  Last night they came back with some great and inspirational stories.

One of the girls just started talking to a guy in her dorm that was always alone.  She said he seemed a little different and was never really talking to anyone else.  He plays the piano, so one day she just started talking to him and he invited her to come sit down and listen to him play the piano.  They are now friends, so the speak, and she says hi and makes a point to talk to him.  Who knows what that has done for him, but she made the effort and got uncomfortable to make someone feel loved.

Another one of the girls saw a woman crying  in a parking garage and just went and sat by her and asked the woman if she could pray for her.  The lady was an older woman, maybe in her 50′s and told this young lady she was surprised to hear that from someone so young.   They prayed together and then parted ways.  Only God knows how that affected that woman, but it might have been just what she needed.  Instead of just avoiding the lady and staying comfortable, this young lady did something, she didn’t say no to the Holy Spirit.  She loved someone radically right where she was.

We have to remember that God loves us radically and through that we need to be sharing that love with others. Every single day.  I know I need to work on this.  I need to search out those opportunities and just let the Holy Spirit lead me.  That is how we glorify God and further His Kingdom.

I just finished a book they mailed to me called “Essentials For Life” by Marcia Ford.  I really enjoyed it.  It’s a great book to use as a reference for years to come.  Marcia really simplifies different strategies and goals that pertain to your walk with God.  She uses Bible verses, examples and quotes to help you understand and put together your own plan of action.

In some ways it’s a “to-do” list, but more importantly it’s full of great reminders and inspirations that I plan to use in my daily life.

She covers all areas from how we see God, to knowing the Spirit, understanding the Bible better, spreading the Good News, cultivating our relationship with God,  serving and dealing with our time, relationships and money.   I can’t think of many topics or concerns we have as Christians that Marcia doesn’t cover in this book.  It’s easy to read and set up in a very organized manner.  You could even treat it as a devotional and read one chapter a day.  Each chapter is only 3-4  pages, but filled with great information.

For instance, one of my favorite subjects to talk about with people is spending time with God.  Marcia has a chapter devoted to this topic, of course, and in that chapter she gives some great inspiration.  For those that feel overwhelmed in making time for God she speaks truth about common obstacles (fear of solitude, annoying sounds, etc.).  She uses quotes from very famous authors about how important time with God is, despite our fears and distractions.  She ends with the mere reminder to ask God to help you find the perfect time for Him.  She quotes A.T. Pierson  in saying ” God knows how to save for you the time you sacredly keep for communion with Him.”  I love that.   He will help us save that time…if we let him.

This book is filled with wonderful nuggets of truth and inspiration just like I described above.  I want to read it over and over again to remind myself of these truths and simple acts that can keep me grounded and focused on what truly matters. 

I really think this book offers some great “how-to’s” for living intentionally, simply, and on purpose.  I would highly suggest buying this book, reading it once and then going back and reading it once a year to keep you focused and on track.  Our lives get so busy and we need to always remember the essentials!

Last night during my Young Life small group meeting we talked about Jesus asking his disciples (Peter in particular) to leave everything to follow Him.  He asks the same of us, but fear holds us back sometimes.  Fear of being uncomfortable.   What are we most of afraid of letting go of?

Think about that for a minute.  What is the first thing you think of as you imagine Jesus knocking on your door telling you that you need to come with Him….and leave everything.  Every single thing and person.  Can you imagine?

For me, it was my family.  I really can’t imagine life without them.  However, if I had to choose, I would choose Jesus.  I would walk out the door behind Him.  Because without Him, my life is nothing.

The point isn’t to sit around scared that He is going to ask you to leave your family because odds are, He won’t.  The point is to put in perspective what it means to follow His lead.   Obeying God should be our #1 priority.  Period. 

It should come before your comforts, your to-do lists, your schedules, your hobbies, your job,  your friends and even your family at times.  Making time for, talking to, listening to and obeying Jesus should be your #1 priority.  Today. Tomorrow. Everyday. 

What if at the top of your to-do list every single day you wrote ”Obey Jesus” as #1?   Think how that could change your perspective, your priorities, your focus and your life.

I’ve read these passages before, but never understood them like this.  Hearing it this way gave me a totally different perspective and created such a feeling of overwhelming gratitude for Jesus.  Not only am I incredibly thankful for what Jesus did, I’m in awe and I’m completely engulfed with the love He has for us.  Amazing Love. 

Watch or listen to this sermon and let me know if you are not changed, encouraged or comforted in some way.

Garden of Gethsemane Sermon

I definitely do NOT want to be passive about Jesus, and honestly He is all that should matter.  Every day.  Ever hour.  Every single second. Jesus.  Without Him you and I would have no hope for a future, we would struggle in our own sins and guilt forever and we would never be made new.  We would die and never know everlasting life. 

So we need to focus on being passionate about what does matter and passive about what doesn’t matter.  All the time.  If we put a lot of time into what makes us happy and less time in to Jesus, what are we saying is more important?

If we find time to read many things of this world, but no time for the Bible.  Again, where are our priorities? 

Do you spend more time filling yourself with Jesus or the world? 

Don’t be of the world, be in the world only to change it and to turn as many people as you can to Jesus Christ.  Period.   That is our job.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:2

Here is the video for the song courageous. 

I’ve been a Christian now since 2005 and ever since God and I started getting to know each other, He has been putting on my heart that His plan for me is to work with young women.  For many of those years I just felt this on my heart,  and had no clue how it was going to happen or what it would look like.  Basically I had no idea where to begin.

Well, as always, God knew what He was doing all along.  He has literally been preparing me for “such a time as this” for really my entire life.   And the past few years He has been preparing my heart.   Last night began this journey for me.  The one God has been preparing me for.  I sat among 600+ college freshman at UT at a Young Life Club meeting late last night in a huge lecture room on UT’s campus.   It was incredible.  That’s all I can say.

I looked around the room and thought…wow!  All of these 18-year-old kids have their entire futures in front of them.  If only they could fully understand how much Jesus loves them and what they can do for Him if they just give their lives to Him now.  Not wait until they are 34 to do so, like I did. 

However, as I looked around the room and thought that, I knew exactly why God had chosen me to do this.  Because I can share with them the reasons God asks us to obey Him.  I can give them real and painful examples of what happens when we don’t.  I can also share with them what Grace really means and what it looks like.   I knew in those moments last night that I was there for a very specific reason and God planned it a long time ago.  And now it was so much clearer to me.

At church yesterday, Matt Carter said exactly that.   That we are here and live where we live because God planned it to be that way.  There is no other reason.  It is not an accident, it was planned.

Let me illustrate that a little bit.  Brian and I made some decisions last year that were made for a few particular reasons (or so we thought), but now I can see God orchestrating it all the entire time.  We sold our house and planned to move to Central Austin, the we got involved with a new church in Central Austin.  In doing so, I met someone who led  me to  College Young Life and the person in charge of the girl’s small groups (after a year of going to this new church).  Then my church merges with the largest college age church body in our city at the very same time I’m about to begin this journey.  

So, let me go over that again.   I now literally live 4 minutes from the UT campus,  my church has now merged  (as of 2 weeks ago) with the church that has the highest # of UT students, and I am now (as of two days ago) going to be a small group leader for College Young Life.    Happenstance?  I think not.  I know not.  God had this all in his back pocket way before he even put one teeny notion of working with young women on my heart. 

Today I will receive my list of girls.  The young women that will be in my small group.   I will have the opportunity to meet these girls next week and then love on them , guide them, share the love of Jesus with them, and be there for them for the next 4 years of their lives.  I cannot wait. 

God knows what He is doing.  Trust Him every step of the way. 

He will prepare you and when the time comes, you will also think to yourself that you are where you are  ”for such a time as this”.  Just like Esther.

When God puts something on your heart, it’s not your job to think of the ways to get there.  Just listen and obey.  Do the next thing.  He won’t give you the destination, He’ll only give you the next leg of the trip.  Follow Him.

“What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?”

Wow, that’s all I could think after I read it.  Wow.  Then I racked my brain to think about what I thanked God for the previous day.  I usually pray “thank you for everything that you give me”, but I couldn’t remember for sure if I prayed that and it’s really to vague anyway.  I know I thanked Him for the food I ate at mealtime prayers and I thanked Him for the women in my Bible Study before we met last night, but I think that was it .  I love those women and I need to eat, but I was crushed that I might not have thanked God for the most precious things in my life.  My husband and children.  Sometimes I just feel like God knows that I am grateful for them.  But this question really hit home.

I used to thank Him every night for Jesus dying on the cross, but somehow I stopped that.  That is the # 1 gift I am thankful for, how I could I stop thanking Him?  Everyday is a reminder that again, He has forgiven me when I don’t deserve it.

I need to be thanking God daily for all those things that I never ever want to take for granted.  My loved ones and all the blessings He has given me.  This question was so good to read this morning.  I will make sure I start thanking God daily for EVERYTHING I am grateful for.

I have a “Gratitude Journal” by my bedside, I need to go back to writing in it every night.  It’s such a great feeling to go to bed thankful for all that you have, instead of depressed about all you don’t have.  And if one day we did wake up with only those things we thanked God for the day before, you’ll be in good shape!